Be Curious!

Coaching is based on the belief that we all have our own answers i.e. that we are the best person to decide our choices. Because we are all unique we cannot all want the same things in the same way and coaching respects this by facilitating greater awareness, clarity and confidence to make choices that fit with who we are.

When we feel stuck, unsure how to move forward, there is often a fear of making the ‘wrong’ choice, as if there might be a correct answer. With life choices, things are rarely that precise!

As a former Maths teacher I have often reflected on the contrast between the mathematical processes to find the one correct solution and the coaching process which helps people find their own solutions, with as many possibilities as there are people! Because I enjoy both processes and the satisfaction they bring to the student or client, I started wondering about any similarities, which on the face of it, don’t exist!

And I came up with these:

• The fear of doing something wrong in the belief that there is only one right answer can leave us feeling helpless, stuck.

• When we have belief in our abilities we are more open to taking action, even if we can’t see the whole route to the solution.

• When we view effort without success as a learning experience (rather than failure), we are prepared to take actions that will provide further learning.

• When we feel stuck we are focusing on the problem and negative beliefs about our abilities rather than the solution.

• When we make an inaccurate assumption, we can lead ourselves down a path and into a cul de sac.

• The longer we feel stuck, the harder it is to believe in ourselves.

So quite a few then and no doubt more!

When a student feels curious they will approach a problem with openness and be excited to try out options. If you are feeling stuck it is likely you have closed down your imagination and your curiosity has waned.

Getting unstuck is much easier when you have help from someone who is on your side, doesn’t judge you and enables you to get a fresh perspective. The coach brings their curiosity to loosen up that stuck thinking and bring new life into the possible ways forward. From a strong foundation of self belief we become empowered to take actions that lead us in our chosen direction. And that becomes clear when we know our priorities and values.